So I've had this item on my to do list (I use Michael Hyatt's Full Focus Planner) for several weeks. It literally sits there every day reminding me to write the literal back blast of my experience giving blood.
But let's go back a few months.
Somewhere in July, the men of F3Nation were talking about CSAUPs. That's a word in our F3 Lexicon which stands for Crazy, Stupid and Utterly Pointless. It's about stretching yourself to do hard things, most of the time together as a group. F3 is an organization that is often looked upon more for our fitness beatdowns in the early morning, but F3 is a Leadership Development Organization. We learn to lead by being part of an organization that encourages ways to Lead. CSAUPs are intentional moments for us to come together to push us even farther than we normally do. It is leadership development. It works.
Anyway, sometime in July there were some men of the nation talking about a different kind of CSAUP.
This CSAUP would be Completely Smart and Utterly Purposeful. A Nationwide Blood Drive. 10,000 pints by end of year. It's a way to lead with the purpose that those coming behind us would see the purpose and follow it.
Let me tell you, I was inspired. Even though these F3 brothers were in different parts of country. Even though I had not yet heard anyone in F3Alpha discuss doing this, I wrote down in my FFP a personal goal to Give Blood before end of Q3.
Here's the thing. I've never given blood before. I hate needles. I literally have to look the other way with flu shots. I wince at getting finger pricked. This Full Focused Planner goal stared at me every week during my weekly review. I didn't proactively look for a place to donate. It just sat there.
Until one day as I was logging into the NextDoor app to promote a Friday beatdown at a local F3Alpha AO (theBridge) and I saw a blood drive was happening in Peachtree Corners. A short Mosey from the AO is a church that would be conducting a blood drive. I clicked the link. Saw an opening. Took an afternoon spot. It would mean me leaving work early for the day, but CSAUP goal had now gone from next action required to scheduled.
July 22nd came. I decided to throw on my 'Gloom Belongs to Us' F3 shirt and head to Peachtree Corners Baptist Church. Totally freaked out, but confident that it wouldn't kill me. It was helping someone else. I could do it.
I wish I could say here, that I walked in brave and ready, but I was nervous and facing the unknown. I walked in COVID masked up. Check-in lady took my temperature to ensure I was 'normal' and I sat in a waiting area. I watched 6-8 beds get efficiently worked on. Folks were laying down, some watching movies on their phones. Some reading. Some just listening to music. The Red Cross workers were amazing. Watching them care for folks. Clean up after and prep for the next person. Me.
I sat down. I told the lady helping that this was my first time. I was a little nervous. She told me I'd be fine and that she'd take care of me. Asked what arm I wanted used. After a few minutes, she determined my veins were probably better in my dominant right arm vs my left arm. "We can get it done quicker and easier here."
Needle in. That wasn't too bad. She even mentioned to me that if that was what I was worried about, the worst was over. She gave me a squeeze ball. Instructed me to squeeze it every 5 seconds or so, and I'll be right back to check on you.
I started to take a couple pics. I figured I'd through the West Wing on my phone and enjoy a peaceful few minutes as blood pumped into the collection bags.
Next thing I know, I know I'm getting light headed. I call her name (wish I had this info now... should have written this back blast sooner) I call her name, and say, I feel light headed.
She comes over and lowers my head back.
Next thing I know I'm out. Now, I've blacked out before. Passed out more like it. A few times related to needles. I did it when I was having my wisdom teeth out 10+ years ago. I remember sitting there trying to come to and can hear their voices, and slowly, in my brain, realize where I am and what has happened. I finally open my eyes. Now there are 3 Red Cross folks around me. One, the EMT, who I knew minutes earlier was enjoying his lunch on the other side of the room. They were amazingly kind getting me back to readiness. At some point, I remember thinking, "At least I didn't 'spill merlot'" which is also in the F3 lexicon of puking after/during a beatdown.
But wait there's more.
The EMT tells me that they're still collecting blood. Can't stop now, or none of it can be used...
It was around that time that I passed out again and did 'spill merlot'
And I must have looked the part, because my red cross nurse had a piece of plastic shield ready to keep it from going everywhere. It got all over my face as I was laying back. Gross. ( I did get a pic though!)
Finally, I woke up. We finished. I kept thinking about what this all looked like to the other donors in the room. The other folks waiting and the other nurses. I kept thinking about the implications that everyone was thinking of this happening to me during COVID. Everyone would have to be freaked out.
I realized that I was going to need assistance to get home. I was extremely weak at this point Feeling horrible. I texted my wife the picture of my 'giving blood' and told her, I'd need a drive home.
She came for me.
Gina knew that I have problems with needles and thought I was a little weird for deciding to do this all on my own. She's one of those amazing folks who would give blood and be happy to watch every bit of the process. Asking questions. Could probably put the needle in herself.
She came and after several attempts... we got to the car and I proceeded to dry heave more 'merlot' in a bucket she brought. Aren't our M's the best!
Got home. Got cleaned up. Got to bed. Totally worn out. Losing the blood and all food and hydration that I had sent me into a long afternoon cat nap. Woke up laughing, yet questioning why I have such a time with needles and stuff like this.
And that's the thing. The folks I've talked to have told me that some have harder times than others. I've heard some veteran blood givers tell me that they probably were pumping it too fast, and/or I was not squeezing the ball slow enough. The red cross people were amazing. So kind. Reassuring me that 'it happens', 'don't worry', 'we've dealt with worse.'
Here's the thing though. I did it. CSAUP completed. They did not take the needle out until the full collection was over.
A few weeks later I got my COVID-19 antibody test results back. Negative. A few weeks more and I got a notification that my blood had gone to a hospital in Macon and had been used to help someone in need.
And I remembered that that's why I did it. I did it to serve others. I did it because serving others is what Jesus did. He came to serve. He literally came to earth to shed His blood and suffer on the cross while my sins were put upon Him. It is because of His work, that I can and should serve others.
Somewhere along the way, Gina told me that I should not be discouraged to share with others what I went through. It is HIGHLY likely, your experience will not be like mine. Follow the recommendations of the red cross and you'll be fine.
I really do not want this to be an experience that keeps someone else from giving blood. There are those of you who don't/won't have a problem with it, and you should. It's easy to do and there is great need.
It is one of the simplest ways to serve and give to others who absolutely need it.
Now, will I give blood again. Probably not too soon, but F3Alpha, don't be shocked if I set up a drive and call upon you to sign up. We are Freed to Lead... and we're Freed to Bleed!
See You In the Gloom.
- Andy Darnell, 44, Homer.